' I looked up at her quizzically, still sniffing and scratching my arms like a heroin addict. (I think this is what tipped the balance in their discussion in my favour.)I have discussed this with your father, and ... her voice dried, I don't blame her, after all it was pretty unusual what she was going to suggest. 'What mum?' I said. 'Darling, this is for you, we can't keep seeing you go through this, and we are both ok with this, we have discussed it thoroughly, we think this is a better option then you getting picked up by strangers, especially if you are drunk.' 'What' I said again, still a little dim. 'Your father will take care of you.' I looked down at my feet and whispered 'really?''Yes darling, when you need it and nobody else is available he will step in.''I need it now' I said still looking at my feet. She patted me on the shoulder; 'I know you do darling; he is in our bedroom waiting if you want.' I nodded, stood up and hugged her, kissing her on the cheek. 'I love you mum'. I thought about my family. This would be the first Christmas I had ever spent apart from them. I thought about my cousins opening their presents and running around the house, crazy and hopped up on sugar and adrenaline. I thought about my grandfather telling stories about the good old days, they were wonderful stories about his youth and my uncles and father as children. I thought about the games and the pie and the times when I was a kid and my grandmother would play Christmas songs on the piano while the parents sung and the children played. Then I thought about the man beside me, how to tell him everything I felt. How do you tell someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with them? That you want your future Christmas memories to be about him? Guys have it so easy. They can just propose. And while I could do that, I had a feeling it would take the wind out of Adam’s sails. I couldn’t do that to him. But I could just try to show him how I felt. I started to formulate a.
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